Comparison is a double-edged sword: it both robs you of joy and drives you on. I think the negative probably outweighs the positive i.e. if you didn't compare would you be better or worse off overall? I suspect better.
Our society encourages us to compare in all sorts of ways. Creatively we want more likes, more shares, more subscribers, more views, more, more. There's a drive to be better than the next person. That's how the majority of people get their sense of 'worth' these days. Most social media doesn't help - including notes about Substack subscriber numbers or income. As a writer, the most powerful positive message is when someone says they liked your work or you moved them. Give me just one of them for every hundred sub-second mouse-click likes!
I compare all the time - and know in many ways it is a weakness. Sometimes I wish I was stronger...
You’re quite right Ian. What we’re given to view is often so highly composed that the reality is completely hidden. We show what we want people to see, and it’s these curated worlds that can really drive the feelings of inadequacy that we love to heap upon our own heads. It’s hard to know what is real to compare to anymore. That’s why I stick with admiring the people I watch do the work, so I can have a more realistic base.
I wish I could sing... 😊. I can't hold a tune. ~ I believe we're all, in some form, creative beings. The ones that claim that they aren't creative rarely explore enough. ~ We write for different reasons, and not one reason is more valuable than another. We write to entertain, teach, inform, and leave a piece of us in words somewhere. Words can transport and heal. Or at the least, they make us think. ~ For me, it's about quality. Has the artists put everything they got into their work?
I’ve long been bent towards comparison, but usually from a place of “I am missing this particular thing that everyone else seems to have.” It was ingrained in me early on, that sense of lack.
So much of my adult life has been spent working that, little by little, out of my system. Often, my remaining struggle is comparing myself to an “ideal” version of me -- the “should” version, you could say. In mothering, in marriage, in writing, and more. It’s an invisible standard only visible when I see others do what I think I should be doing.
I think comparison is natural, impossible to avoid, and can be enlightening. It’s what we DO with what we uncover when we compare, I believe, that’s the crux.
"It’s what we DO with what we uncover when we compare"
Oh, have you ever nailed it. For some, it drives us to be better, and for some, it halts us in our tracks. I have many invisible standards myself. Well put.
Comparison is a double-edged sword: it both robs you of joy and drives you on. I think the negative probably outweighs the positive i.e. if you didn't compare would you be better or worse off overall? I suspect better.
Our society encourages us to compare in all sorts of ways. Creatively we want more likes, more shares, more subscribers, more views, more, more. There's a drive to be better than the next person. That's how the majority of people get their sense of 'worth' these days. Most social media doesn't help - including notes about Substack subscriber numbers or income. As a writer, the most powerful positive message is when someone says they liked your work or you moved them. Give me just one of them for every hundred sub-second mouse-click likes!
I compare all the time - and know in many ways it is a weakness. Sometimes I wish I was stronger...
You’re quite right Ian. What we’re given to view is often so highly composed that the reality is completely hidden. We show what we want people to see, and it’s these curated worlds that can really drive the feelings of inadequacy that we love to heap upon our own heads. It’s hard to know what is real to compare to anymore. That’s why I stick with admiring the people I watch do the work, so I can have a more realistic base.
I wish I could sing... 😊. I can't hold a tune. ~ I believe we're all, in some form, creative beings. The ones that claim that they aren't creative rarely explore enough. ~ We write for different reasons, and not one reason is more valuable than another. We write to entertain, teach, inform, and leave a piece of us in words somewhere. Words can transport and heal. Or at the least, they make us think. ~ For me, it's about quality. Has the artists put everything they got into their work?
"For me, it's about quality. Has the artists put everything they got into their work?"
Oh, this is so prescient. That's what I was thinking about when I wrote this. Whether I've given enough to the story.
I’ve long been bent towards comparison, but usually from a place of “I am missing this particular thing that everyone else seems to have.” It was ingrained in me early on, that sense of lack.
So much of my adult life has been spent working that, little by little, out of my system. Often, my remaining struggle is comparing myself to an “ideal” version of me -- the “should” version, you could say. In mothering, in marriage, in writing, and more. It’s an invisible standard only visible when I see others do what I think I should be doing.
I think comparison is natural, impossible to avoid, and can be enlightening. It’s what we DO with what we uncover when we compare, I believe, that’s the crux.
"It’s what we DO with what we uncover when we compare"
Oh, have you ever nailed it. For some, it drives us to be better, and for some, it halts us in our tracks. I have many invisible standards myself. Well put.
Also, so lovely to meet you IRL last night!!!
Comparison thieves my joy, so no. I tend to use others as the inspiration for what's possible.
I agree! I love to get inspired.
This does not surprise me int he least. You have no need for comparison, as you're one of a kind!