When The Ones Who Are Supposed To Have Words… Don’t.
Having Cognitive Dissonance in the Face of War
It has been a long and tragic week.
While I rarely comment publicly on current events, I’ve been compelled twice this year—first when Russia invaded Ukraine, and second when Hamas viciously attacked Israel. Why these in particular? In another life, I might be dealing with these issues head on. While I am now a thriller writer, I studied political science, and have always been fascinated by international relations. I even had a near miss with a Foreign Service application; I met Mr. Ellison during the process, which changed my life goals.
From a very young age, the nightly news was a bonding moment with my family. On the weekend, there were long-form magazine shows that we watched. Family dinners involved intricate discussions of modern, philosophical, and historical topics that both affected and played out in the news cycle. I was a surprise baby, coming nine years after my siblings, so I was rolled into adult conversations from the get go. After that, it wasn’t a stretch for me to seek out degrees in poly sci and politics. One of my favorite classes featured a lengthy book on how to make thermonuclear bombs—and the ethical repercussions of this knowledge.
When I started writing, I moved away from the political world I was familiar with in favor of learning new things. But I didn’t ever stop wanting to be plugged into current events. I like being in the know, and to feel my finger on the pulse. I read, watch, listen, widely. I interrogate my husband, family, and friends on their thoughts. And there are plenty of times when I step away—far away—from the news cycle, because it’s sometimes so frustrating to think this is our world that I can’t face it.
But then something horrific happens, something that draws every eye, dominates every conversation, and I plug right back in, for better or worse. I lose time, I lose sleep. I fall into the refreshing loop, desperate to both stay on top of what’s happening, and to hear some good news in the bad. A story of hope. Of survival. Of courage.
I feel people who are suffering deserve the respect of acknowledgement. Cat pictures hardly seem appropriate when strangers are bleeding in the streets. I always pause my social media when major events happen. Always. It’s the only way I can show my respect for their pain and loss. Our collective pain and loss. And sometimes, it’s because I simply do not have the words.
It is these horrific events that bring us together. A shared sense of humanity. Or they used to. We used to be able to have a consensus of what is wrong, what is right, what is good, what is evil. And perhaps that’s my optimistic naïveté, thinking that all humans can agree on what evil is.
This week… has not been that. The cognitive dissonance has left me speechless. It seems our world is broken in irretrievable ways. War is always complicated, and always taken out on the backs of innocents. That we can’t agree on who that encompasses is…problematic.
We were in Dunkerque, France, a few weeks ago. We sailed from there to Dover, following the path of one of the greatest rescues in military history. A miracle, they called Operation Dynamo, with 330,000 troops saved from the brutal yolk of the German army bearing down to murder them. Following that path was inspiring and remarkable. We drove through what had been occupied territory on our way to the port, and the history of the area fairly bled from the grass. You could feel the ghosts watching. It is a moment in time that we look back on with sad pride. Ultimately, we won the war. Good triumphed over evil.
I interviewed Alan Furst a few years back, for his book A Hero of France. It’s an excellent spy novel about the French Resistance, and I asked him what our fascination is with war novels, and World War II in particular. He said without hesitation, “…there was a large amount of good and evil, and the right side won.”
Now, not even 80 years later, we’re living in a world where there is argument over which is the right side. Think about that.
More recently, I spoke with Gal Beckerman, senior book editor of The Atlantic and author of the book The Quiet Before: On the Unexpected Origins of Radical Ideas. I loved the book, and am a fan of Gal’s work in general. Over the weekend, he published his own moment of cognitive dissonance that’s well worth a read. For a writer whose most recent book is a historical view of how radical thought profligates, it is fascinating to see him realize that his thesis doesn’t apply universally.
It’s too early for any of this to make sense. Has WWIII begun? Quite possibly. There’s a case to be made that it’s been simmering for several years. There is no denying this is a moment in history that will resonate for decades.
So while the world burns, I will be over here, quiet and horrified, trying to work whilst staying plugged in, trying to process what I’m hearing and seeing, trying to discern the truth from the lies. Hoping, always hoping, that peace will prevail but fearing that it is going to get worse before it gets better.
Be safe, friends. My heart is with you. 💙
P.S. I know we all have *very* strong feelings about what’s happening. This is a safe and civil space to discuss them, if you’d like. I will be moderating if things get out of control.
Beautiful and cogent and thought-provoking as always.
I like to be informed, and I have strong (and many) opinions/thoughts. These aren't easy times, we are constantly confronted with horrific events. However, what saddens me the most is that we're living in such a divided world. Why does violence triumphs over love? If everybody would just give a little more love and acceptant than this would be a better world.